First Medical Appointments

On Wednesday, November 28th, we took Lydie & Samson down to the "U" for their first medical visits. The entire appointment ended up taking 3 1/2 hours! We saw a physician who specializes in internationally adopted children.

I wish I had photos of their visits, but I don't. They were dressed in cute little robes for their exams. Lydie was very compliant during her exam. She let the doctor look her over while having her sheepish face on. We were very proud of her. The doctor didn't find anything that concerned her. Lydie is a healthy, happy little girl.

Samson fell asleep before his exam so the doctor was able to carefully examine his umbilical hernia and abdomen. She also examined his genitals as the medical report we had received from Haiti indicated his testicles had not descended. Fortunately, she found them!! I know it's a little weird to be posting this, but it was something Stephen and I had been praying about because it can effect fertility later in life. The doctor said Samson would benefit from a repair to his hernia eventually. It's not something that needs to be done right away, but we will need to schedule a procedure eventually. Lydie has a little umbilical hernia too and I'm sure she would like that repaired so she's not embarrassed by her belly button when she gets older.

We went over sleeping, eating, and bonding issues that might arise. She was very thorough and we are so blessed to have such a good doctor nearby who knows the challenges of internationally adopted kids. She said they will be picking up English very quickly and we've already noticed with Lydie that she is eager to learn as much as she can and is a sponge.

The kids also received immunizations and the flu shot. They couldn't receive the MMR yet until HIV test results came back. We received the HIV test results today and they were negative, so they will receive their MMR in one month. For those of you wondering, the orphanage does HIV testing when the children enter so we knew about the negative test, but they need to repeat it here in the states. They were also tested for lead, hepatitis, thyroid function, CBC, kidney function. All tests came back great except Samson's counts were a little low so we will need to make sure he gets enough iron in his diet.

Stop reading here if you have a weak stomach...

One of the last things they went over with us was the poop testing. We were given a  paper grocery bag for each kid with 4 separate tests for each child. The first day they pooped, we were instructed to collect for 2 different tests and then every other day we would collect for an additional test.  When we got home from our doctor appointment, Lydie & Samson were both ready to give their sample. Lydie was first. The doctor's office had given us "hats" to collect the poop in. So Lydie would sit on the potty and sit over the hat and do her duty. Stephen and I stood in the bathroom while she poo'd. I couldn't help but start giggling because Stephen was really having a hard time with it. They gave us little vials to put the poo in and they are almost too small for the size of poo they want. They instructed that we were to put a "kidney bean" sized amount in each vial. So I got the stick out and took a sample. Lydie went ballistic!! She started shouting "ca ca!!! ca ca!!!" and the top of her lungs and laughing her head off. I think she was deeply disturbed at what her parents were doing. Stephen and I couldn't stop laughing either. It was just so gross and so funny all at the same time. Thankfully, we didn't have to use the "hat" for Samson since he's still in a diaper.  We're on day 2 of collection and I have one child down, one to go! It will be good to be done with this. Sunday will be the last collection day! Hallelujah!!

Thoughts on the kids

As you are all eagerly awaiting part 2 of the past week, I thought I would take a moment to post some initial thoughts on Lydie & Samson. 

They are both doing amazingly well considering what they have experienced over the past several days. They were so good on all three plane rides. Samson ended up clinging to my mom most of the trip and Stephen and I took turns taking care of Lydie. I had the privilege of holding Lydie on the 35 minute flight into Cedar Rapids. The sweetest thing was that she really wanted to look out the window during that leg and as we were descending I told her it was Iowa she was seeing and she repeated "Iowa" several times to me. It was a sweet moment. 

They are both very chatty.  Samson says "Lydie" 100 times per day. She rarely acknowledges him but he just continues to chat away at her. They both have killer smiles and laughs and they do a lot more of that then cry or moan. I love listening to them talk in Kreyol. Although it is frustrating to not always understand what they are saying, we get the gist of what they want most of the time. Lydie repeats English words to us constantly so it's only a matter of time before we will be able to communicate with her better. 

They both love their bath time. Almost too much. It got a little wild the first 2 nights, but last night we dumped an enormous amount of toys in the bathtub to keep them from absolutely going ballistic. Obviously, we only put a couple of inches of water in the tub, but without the toys they were sliding all over the tub and making mom and dad very nervous. They have absolutely no fear of water. 

Eating time is going okay. Breakfast has been hard the last couple of mornings. They haven't really liked their oatmeal which is something they ate in Haiti. They are in love with bananas though. Our church family has brought over meals for us and that has been a huge blessing. They have been very mindful of what the kids would like, such as rice and beans and soft foods. They do not like meat. If they sense meat in their mouths they will spit it out on the table. I know texture is a huge thing to get past and hopefully they will grow to like it before too long. They love their milk and apple juice and are not huge fans of cheerios. They also love fruit snacks (who doesn't?) and granola. Today for lunch they ate a large portion of mac & cheese. They first night they were home we ordered a Casey's Pizza and they loved it!

Potty time has been very good for Lydie. She has told us when she needs to go potty and when she's done she loves to wash her hands. Sometimes she tells us she needs to go potty even when she doesn't just so she can wash her hands. Lydie sleeps in a pull-up for now and does wake up in the morning wet. Samson sometimes gets cranky with me when I have to change his diaper. 

They are both sleeping well. Last night was a little more difficult. They wake up disoriented and end up in bed with mom and dad. I don't mind this for right now, because it is important bonding time for the moment. It won't last forever, but we take all the snuggle time we can get.  They both nap for a couple of hours in the afternoon and usually crash at night around 8:00.  

They both love helping us clean up if they have spilled something. They share very well with each other for the most part and say "meci" (thank you) often. 

One thing we are working on is the removal of the word "die-oh" from their language. From what we have gathered from our friends, this word is a term used to describe a white lady. They both call us mama and papa most of the time, but sometimes "die-oh" will come out and we want to break them of that habit. We understand that this was toddler speak at the orphanage because they had so many mission teams through and the little ones would call out to the white women using this word. 

Lydie & Samson are both very smart kids. Samson is very mechanical in nature. He loves to carry around a bag of toys he's collected from around the room. He's definitely likes to be held and today he's rarely come off of my lap to play. He likes to observe everything going on around him. Lydie loves dressing and undressing her doll. She's super silly at times and has an infectious laugh. 

We love them both very much. We are so blessed at how well they are doing so far. We know we are still in "honeymoon" stage, but it's been better than we ever could have imagined. 

A week I will never forget--Part 1

It all started Friday, November 16th. It was the day of Lydie & Samson's visa appointments at the US Embassy in Haiti. We had booked our flights and plans were made to fly our children home the following Friday, November 23rd.

It was mid afternoon and I was strolling along in Target making last minute purchases. We were going to spend the weekend and Monday and Tuesday of the following week putting the final preparations into our home and packing for our trip. Because our flights ended up being fairly reasonably priced, both of my parents decided to travel to Haiti with us to help us bring them home. As I'm pondering all of the things I needed to do before we left, my cell phone rang. It was our adoption agency and they didn't have good news for us. Our adoption agency said the embassy was needing another original power of attorney document so Pierre could sign for us. They also needed 4 passport sized photos of each of us.

I got off the phone and called Stephen immediately. I quickly checked out at Target with only half my purchases made and headed to his work. I picked him up and we headed to Walgreens to have passport photos taken. Then we went to our bank to sign another power of attorney document in front of a notary. We had asked our agency if the POA had to be certified as all other documents we've ever sent to Haiti needed to be certified and they told us no. We later found out the embassy would not have accepted the power of attorney document without it being certified. We went to FedEx and paid the fee to have our document delivered as fast as humanly possible. The fastest they could get it there was Tuesday the following week.

It was starting to feel as the day progressed that our dream of having the kids home for Thanksgiving was slipping through our fingers. Our flights had been purchased and to change them now would be a huge financial blow. I couldn't even think at this point. We had planned on having one more date night and neither one of us could even think straight. We sat in Panera pondering our options. Stephen felt the need to leave for Haiti as soon as possible. I could hardly bare the thought but deep down I knew he was right. I couldn't stop crying. This wasn't they way I imagined it was going to be.

The next morning we both woke up with a peace in our hearts that Stephen needed to leave for Haiti immediately. We called American Airlines and had his flight switched to the next day, Sunday, November 18th. He started packing like a madman and I tried to stay focused on the task at hand. We were able to book the flight that would allow him to get to Haiti Sunday night. We went to bed early and drove off to the airport early the next morning. It was a quick goodbye and he was off. I tried my best to ignore the huge hole in my heart. It's very hard for me to be apart from my other half, but I knew it must be this way. We would be reunited on Thursday in Haiti.

I had been invited to go to church by Ron & Lora that morning. I was so glad they did, because I needed to be with people. As I walked in their house at 6:30 that morning, I met Lora at the door and just lost it.  I'm so grateful for our friends. While we were in church I received a text that Stephen had made it to Chicago and was on the flight headed for Miami. They had to return to the gate because some lady needed medical attention so they had to let her off the plane. He was nervous about making his connection to Haiti. Ron & Lora's church congregation prayed for us. It was so comforting.

I headed home feeling like a zombie. When I got home I hopped on my computer and watched the flight tracker as I dozed off to sleep. He made it to Miami with enough time to spare to board his PAP flight. Praise the Lord. Stephen boarded his flight for PAP but then a very familiar experience happened. The plane experienced mechanical problems (something to do with a headlight) and he ended up being stuck on the plane for 2 hours without going anywhere. The flight ended up being cancelled.......

To be continued...

Adoption Update

No creative title. No carefully crafted words. I'm beyond exhausted. But this must be documented. For them. For us.

One year from now we look back at this time and wonder why we ever doubted. We will probably even question the stress we experienced while waiting. All the pain will have melted away. Our two beauties will be fully integrated. Comfortable with mom and dad.  Home.

But for now, I feel like Moses holding up the rod and the arms have gotten too tired so his friends are holding up his arms for him. Our friends are tired too. So is our family. I long to care for those who are struggling around me, but I am weak. Emotionally drained. Spent. My physical body has taken the brunt of the stress. I've been to several doctors in the last two months with strange symptoms. They can't diagnose a problem. It's just stress.

I know many of you are praying for us. I know there are people in my life I have neglected. I may have even been short with you. I am sorry. This process isn't natural. We have been separated from our children for too long and our hearts ache.  It's not an excuse, I know, but please forgive me if you have felt neglected by me.

The latest news starts with more frustration and ends with good news to report.  After our dossier was submitted to the USCIS earlier this month, we received an email from them shortly after that they had two issues with our paperwork. One issue was that two birth parent relinquishment documents were in our file and they needed our case worker to clarify which document they were to use. The issue was resolved by Pierre submitting an affidavit explaining the reason for the two documents. Problem solved.

The second issue was the embassy reported they had never received the payment for the second I-600 fee.  You may remember this whole mess from over a year ago, if not, here's the link.  Unfortunately, the only person who knows where our fee payment went, is dead.  So we had to come up with a way to get our fee paid again at the embassy. This isn't as easy as calling them up on the phone and giving them your credit card number. The embassy requires a representative on your behalf to walk in and pay the fee for you. Thankfully, an angel from God offered to do this for us and early last week she went in to pay the fee on our behalf.

The very next day we received I-600 approval. What does that mean? Here is the statement from our I-600 approval letter: "USCIS in Port au Prince, Haiti is pleased to inform you that the I-600 petitions, which you filed at this office on March 16, 2011 on behalf of Samson Pierre & Lydie Fignole, seeking to qualify them as your immediate relatives have 
been approved. Your case has been transferred to the Adoption Unit of the Consular Section for the visa process. This completes all action by USCIS on the referenced petitions. The Consular Section will soon contact you to follow-up on your case."

This news is HUGE people. We are just weeks away from traveling to get our kids and bring them home. The visa office will be issuing a visa appointment for our kids and we will be bringing them home a few days after that appointment. Based on other families that have brought their children home recently, it is possible we could be bringing them home around Thanksgiving time. We will know more very soon. 

Thank you for continuing to stand with us, friends. Thank you for holding up our arms when we have been too weak to do so. Today is orphan Sunday. The two we are bringing home seem like a drop in a very large bucket of great need in this world. We are nothing special. We are just doing what we've been asked to do, sometimes without the grace and patience that we should have had, but He is gracious and patient with us and I am thankful. 

The finish line coming into focus

We received word that on October 2nd our dossier was delivered to the USCIS in Haiti. When I read the news, a huge weight had been lifted, followed by a few moments of nervousness.

We have been waiting 2 years to bring Lydie and Samson home. During that time, the Lord has molded us, healed us, strengthened us. We have developed friendships that will last for eternity. We've learned about bonding issues, abandonment issues, and a little bit of creole. We've learned how to make Haitian rice and beans and we've learned all about car seats, toddler beds and cartoons.

Often times we have heard comments from other parents like, "oh you just wait" or "your life will never be the same." These statements aren't meant to be positive but poke at the fact that so far our lives have been pretty easy because we haven't been parents. I probably would agree with them.  I know parenting is the hardest job on the planet. I get that.

Most parents become parents the fun way. You know what I mean. We are becoming parents through agonizing silence and waiting, fears of cholera and hurricanes. We've endured background checks, psychiatric evaluations, mistakenly shredded documents and the death of our adoption processor.

I am not looking for sympathy. Everything we have endured these past 2 years will be rewarded with two of the most amazing kids I've ever laid my eyes on. They are worth all of this. So when I hear comments from some about how parenting sucks, it makes me sad. It makes me sad for their kids, because kids are not stupid and they listen to what their parents are saying.

We don't know for sure how long this last step will take. It could be one month or it could be two. But we know that God will give us the grace to finish what He has called us to do. Then the real fun begins....

The Dark Truth

On this Labor Day,  my blog is dedicated to child slavery.

Here are some facts:

• Slavery is not legal anywhere but happens everywhere.
• Modern slavery shares two key characteristics that distinguishes it from slavery in the past:  slaves today are cheap and they are disposable.
• There are 27 million slaves in the world today. The majority are children.
• Slavery: Forced to work without pay, under threat of violence and unable to walk away.
• The modern-day slave trade is now called human trafficking.
• The average costs of a child slave can be as little as $40 – $90
• Slave holders use many terms to avoid the word slavery: debt bondage, bonded labour, attached labour, restavec, forced labour and indentured servitude.
• Obstacles stand in the way to ending slavery: lack of resources and lack of awareness.
• In Haiti, there is an estimated 225,000 children (mostly girls between the age of 5-17) living as a "restavek" or slave. That's 1 in 10 children in Haiti!

In the western African country of Ghana, there are an estimated 7,000-10,000 child slaves. These children are as young as 5 and 6. My niece and nephew are that age. I can't imagine them being forced to work 14 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Recently I heard someone being asked if they would ever be involved in a country like Haiti or Ghana. Their response was an adamant "NO!" The reason they gave was "it's like spitting in the ocean. There's so much need out there, does it really make a difference?"  Though I can understand the immense need, it shouldn't stop us from trying. A life is a life, no matter how small it may seem or how vast the need is. 

Here's a ministry that is making a difference, one child at a time. This Labor Day, please take a moment to view this short documentary and ask the Lord how you can make a difference in the life of a child. 

Mercy Project Website: http://mercyproject.net/

Mercy Project Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/mercyproject

Mercy Project Twitter feed: https://twitter.com/mercyproject

The Day in the Life of a Nanny

Kelly Chambley, the originator behind rubble-wear has written a few thoughts about the nannies who care for our children and her vision for the future of rubble-wear.  Thank you so much for joining me in this important, eternal work.

A couple of you have inquired about some of the nannies still living in tents and about how that could be with as they have a full-time job at Maison. I know many of the nannies personally and I kind of want to give you an idea of what The Oak Project is trying to establish with the nannies and a little insight into their lives.

The pay they receive is extremely low. It's enough to feed them, however after that, they depend on miracles to get their kids into school which is expensive in Haiti.

The nannies many times choose their kids' education over allowing themselves to eat. Many of them have expressed to me that in Haiti, if you do not find a way for your child to get an education, it is like choosing a long slow death for them.

So, if they lost their home a lot of them live on the property that they had but in a make shift tent. Some have asked if there is any way to build them at least a "room" to live in.

The dream behind rubble-wear is to one day have the funds flowing from it to meet all of these insanely huge needs. In the past couple of years, by God's good grace through rubble-wear and donations we have gotten Glorieuse and her family out of tent city and into an apartment. We have paid Clairvia's rent for six months, we have put a roof on Fifi's home (and are now re-roofing it), we have helped Madame Gaston bury her mother and be able to give her an actual burial. (most of them cannot afford this and the details of what happens to their family members, I'd rather not go into).

I have visited a few nannies in their tent cities and it has been the most sobering moments of my journey. I cannot tell you how thankful I was that I am deeply convinced God is good and in process of redeeming all things before I stepped foot into one of these tent cities, beyond it's borders.

Tent City is a pride-swallowing, wretched place to live. When it rains, parents many times pick the beds up off the ground and hold the beds all night so the children can sleep as their floor has become mud. Most tent cities have a "mayor" who runs things and many times that "mayor" is not the most splendid of characters. In most tent cities you have to pay money to simply go to the bathroom. Most cannot afford this "luxury" and are forced to use the bathroom outside in front of other people.

We have been sure that Madame Gaston got her b12 shot. One donor paid for Mommy Deula to have surgery for a lump to be removed from her breast and she is healthy and wonderful now! Last year, Mommy Matte become very sick and was losing blood. She had no way to find help. Through donations and RW we were able to get her 3 pints of blood and follow up visits and she seems to be okay. I am still incredibly frustrated that we cannot find a place to diagnose her and I am still trying. Getting blood was a week long feat in itself. We carried blood in buckets on tap taps to get it from one place to the other and the stories go on. We have done a lot more than that but those are the ones coming to mind right now.

We want to see better for the nannies and RW is a hopeful way that we can develop something sustainable for them that also teaches them skill. They are anxious and willing to learn so much.

Many of our "team trips" there are to ignite hope in the nannies and to give them some days of rest and nurturing. These trips to the beach where we play, build friendship, do group therapy or discipleship have been something that made them feel alive. Mommy Clanide talks about how they feel seen for the first time. How she looks forward to a future for the first time in her life. How she has been valued by others and it has changed the way she looks at everything. At the beginning of every trip we take them on I tell them the example about how a mother has to take the oxygen first on an airplane if something happens so they will have the strength to care for their kids. And how these trips are a chance for them to INHALE and rest. They always feel so guilty at first and once they just get a simple example and some permission to rest, they laugh so hard and sing and cry non-stop and they are revived. We are taking a group of nannies to the beach again in October and we will be looking for sponsors for them to be able to go.

These ladies are my heroes. Their joy and their long-suffering is absolutely unreal. It has been extremely rare among these women to find one who approached us as a pocket full of money. The biggest request they ever have is to help their kids go to school.

I cherish them so deeply and I want to thank you guys from the very bottom of my heart for donating toward them and for caring about their journey. So many people just look at the children...thank you for looking at them and being brave enough to see their need and extend your grace.


Thank each of you for your love and giving The Oak Project an honor to do what the love of Christ compels us to do....bridge you to the displaced and fatherless and bridge them to you.

kelly