A week I will never forget--Part 2

There may be a noticeable change in voice, as Naomi has asked me to record my experiences in writing...beware.

Naomi left off with my Miami to PAP flight being cancelled, which left with with a rebooked flight out of Miami the next morning at 7:20 am, boarding at 6:20.  I was satisfied with this in light of the fact that some passengers were rebooked out of Ft. Lauderdale.

The airline put me up in a 1-star hotel with an even worse restaurant.  Perhaps the meal was not that bad, but my stomach was in knots, so who knows.

I had a divine appointment earlier that day with a Miami airport gate worker who recommended that I be at the TSA check-in two hours prior to boarding, but 4:20 seemed extremely early.  I was up at 3:45, which felt like 2:45 Iowa time, caught the 4:30 shuttle to the airport, and was through TSA by 5:00.

Another divine appointment, but this time it was someone I knew, Jim Varda.  Jim and Donna were adopting two girls who were close friends with Lydie.  He was joining his wife and girls by catching the same flight on which I was rebooked.  Not only familiar face, but he was a seasoned veteran of the PAP airport!

We boarded the flight, and I was seated between two Presbyterian church-planters from San Francisco.  They prayed for me and off to PAP we went.

How do I describe the PAP airport?  Chaos?  Intimidating?  Yes and yes.  You are bused from the plane to a hanger which became the customs and baggage claim after the 2010 earthquake. You are bottlenecked through one of four booths, observing apparent favoritism, as some passengers are escorted past you to the front of the line.  The whole time feeling like they may not let you in the country on a technicality.  No one seems to be happy.

Then the baggage claim area swarms with men who are intensely persistent about carrying your bags.  Some will even pose as airport workers and insist that you are required to acquire their services.  Even the legitimate workers are intimidating because you may be questioned and searched on several occasions within a matter of feet of the door outside.  No one seems to be happy.  Then you step outside...

I love you

I didn't know when it would happen or how, but I knew it would happen eventually. It's the moment as an adoptive mom when you realize you are really a mom and these are your kids.

Last night we were putting the kids to bed. Lydie was throwing a little fit so Stephen took her downstairs to spend a little time in the time-out chair. Samson was being really sweet, smiling often at me. Part of me felt he was smiling just because his sister was in trouble and he was not. We continued to smile at one another while I stroked his sweet head.

Stephen and I have told Lydie and Samson "I love you" often and we sometimes use the kreyol words for I love you as well. (Mwen renman ou). Lydie and Samson wouldn't really respond to these words until this week. They would repeat the English words I love you but not the kreyol. We figured they didn't really understand the English and were just repeating us.

So last night I'm sitting next to Samson's bed and I feel the urge to put myself out there. I decided to speak the kreyol for I love you and see how he would respond. "Mwen renman ou, Samson." Then, in the sweetest voice I've ever heard, I hear my son, for the first time, telling me he loves me in his native tongue. Be still my beating heart. Oh yes, I cried.

This morning it was kreyol I love you's non-stop from Lydie and Samson. It's hard to even describe how amazed I am of them. I try to put myself in their shoes and I just can't. If I were them I would be curled up in a ball in the corner of a room somewhere in a pool of tears. They are doing so well and they are so happy. We are on an amazing journey!

First Medical Appointments

On Wednesday, November 28th, we took Lydie & Samson down to the "U" for their first medical visits. The entire appointment ended up taking 3 1/2 hours! We saw a physician who specializes in internationally adopted children.

I wish I had photos of their visits, but I don't. They were dressed in cute little robes for their exams. Lydie was very compliant during her exam. She let the doctor look her over while having her sheepish face on. We were very proud of her. The doctor didn't find anything that concerned her. Lydie is a healthy, happy little girl.

Samson fell asleep before his exam so the doctor was able to carefully examine his umbilical hernia and abdomen. She also examined his genitals as the medical report we had received from Haiti indicated his testicles had not descended. Fortunately, she found them!! I know it's a little weird to be posting this, but it was something Stephen and I had been praying about because it can effect fertility later in life. The doctor said Samson would benefit from a repair to his hernia eventually. It's not something that needs to be done right away, but we will need to schedule a procedure eventually. Lydie has a little umbilical hernia too and I'm sure she would like that repaired so she's not embarrassed by her belly button when she gets older.

We went over sleeping, eating, and bonding issues that might arise. She was very thorough and we are so blessed to have such a good doctor nearby who knows the challenges of internationally adopted kids. She said they will be picking up English very quickly and we've already noticed with Lydie that she is eager to learn as much as she can and is a sponge.

The kids also received immunizations and the flu shot. They couldn't receive the MMR yet until HIV test results came back. We received the HIV test results today and they were negative, so they will receive their MMR in one month. For those of you wondering, the orphanage does HIV testing when the children enter so we knew about the negative test, but they need to repeat it here in the states. They were also tested for lead, hepatitis, thyroid function, CBC, kidney function. All tests came back great except Samson's counts were a little low so we will need to make sure he gets enough iron in his diet.

Stop reading here if you have a weak stomach...

One of the last things they went over with us was the poop testing. We were given a  paper grocery bag for each kid with 4 separate tests for each child. The first day they pooped, we were instructed to collect for 2 different tests and then every other day we would collect for an additional test.  When we got home from our doctor appointment, Lydie & Samson were both ready to give their sample. Lydie was first. The doctor's office had given us "hats" to collect the poop in. So Lydie would sit on the potty and sit over the hat and do her duty. Stephen and I stood in the bathroom while she poo'd. I couldn't help but start giggling because Stephen was really having a hard time with it. They gave us little vials to put the poo in and they are almost too small for the size of poo they want. They instructed that we were to put a "kidney bean" sized amount in each vial. So I got the stick out and took a sample. Lydie went ballistic!! She started shouting "ca ca!!! ca ca!!!" and the top of her lungs and laughing her head off. I think she was deeply disturbed at what her parents were doing. Stephen and I couldn't stop laughing either. It was just so gross and so funny all at the same time. Thankfully, we didn't have to use the "hat" for Samson since he's still in a diaper.  We're on day 2 of collection and I have one child down, one to go! It will be good to be done with this. Sunday will be the last collection day! Hallelujah!!

Thoughts on the kids

As you are all eagerly awaiting part 2 of the past week, I thought I would take a moment to post some initial thoughts on Lydie & Samson. 

They are both doing amazingly well considering what they have experienced over the past several days. They were so good on all three plane rides. Samson ended up clinging to my mom most of the trip and Stephen and I took turns taking care of Lydie. I had the privilege of holding Lydie on the 35 minute flight into Cedar Rapids. The sweetest thing was that she really wanted to look out the window during that leg and as we were descending I told her it was Iowa she was seeing and she repeated "Iowa" several times to me. It was a sweet moment. 

They are both very chatty.  Samson says "Lydie" 100 times per day. She rarely acknowledges him but he just continues to chat away at her. They both have killer smiles and laughs and they do a lot more of that then cry or moan. I love listening to them talk in Kreyol. Although it is frustrating to not always understand what they are saying, we get the gist of what they want most of the time. Lydie repeats English words to us constantly so it's only a matter of time before we will be able to communicate with her better. 

They both love their bath time. Almost too much. It got a little wild the first 2 nights, but last night we dumped an enormous amount of toys in the bathtub to keep them from absolutely going ballistic. Obviously, we only put a couple of inches of water in the tub, but without the toys they were sliding all over the tub and making mom and dad very nervous. They have absolutely no fear of water. 

Eating time is going okay. Breakfast has been hard the last couple of mornings. They haven't really liked their oatmeal which is something they ate in Haiti. They are in love with bananas though. Our church family has brought over meals for us and that has been a huge blessing. They have been very mindful of what the kids would like, such as rice and beans and soft foods. They do not like meat. If they sense meat in their mouths they will spit it out on the table. I know texture is a huge thing to get past and hopefully they will grow to like it before too long. They love their milk and apple juice and are not huge fans of cheerios. They also love fruit snacks (who doesn't?) and granola. Today for lunch they ate a large portion of mac & cheese. They first night they were home we ordered a Casey's Pizza and they loved it!

Potty time has been very good for Lydie. She has told us when she needs to go potty and when she's done she loves to wash her hands. Sometimes she tells us she needs to go potty even when she doesn't just so she can wash her hands. Lydie sleeps in a pull-up for now and does wake up in the morning wet. Samson sometimes gets cranky with me when I have to change his diaper. 

They are both sleeping well. Last night was a little more difficult. They wake up disoriented and end up in bed with mom and dad. I don't mind this for right now, because it is important bonding time for the moment. It won't last forever, but we take all the snuggle time we can get.  They both nap for a couple of hours in the afternoon and usually crash at night around 8:00.  

They both love helping us clean up if they have spilled something. They share very well with each other for the most part and say "meci" (thank you) often. 

One thing we are working on is the removal of the word "die-oh" from their language. From what we have gathered from our friends, this word is a term used to describe a white lady. They both call us mama and papa most of the time, but sometimes "die-oh" will come out and we want to break them of that habit. We understand that this was toddler speak at the orphanage because they had so many mission teams through and the little ones would call out to the white women using this word. 

Lydie & Samson are both very smart kids. Samson is very mechanical in nature. He loves to carry around a bag of toys he's collected from around the room. He's definitely likes to be held and today he's rarely come off of my lap to play. He likes to observe everything going on around him. Lydie loves dressing and undressing her doll. She's super silly at times and has an infectious laugh. 

We love them both very much. We are so blessed at how well they are doing so far. We know we are still in "honeymoon" stage, but it's been better than we ever could have imagined. 

A week I will never forget--Part 1

It all started Friday, November 16th. It was the day of Lydie & Samson's visa appointments at the US Embassy in Haiti. We had booked our flights and plans were made to fly our children home the following Friday, November 23rd.

It was mid afternoon and I was strolling along in Target making last minute purchases. We were going to spend the weekend and Monday and Tuesday of the following week putting the final preparations into our home and packing for our trip. Because our flights ended up being fairly reasonably priced, both of my parents decided to travel to Haiti with us to help us bring them home. As I'm pondering all of the things I needed to do before we left, my cell phone rang. It was our adoption agency and they didn't have good news for us. Our adoption agency said the embassy was needing another original power of attorney document so Pierre could sign for us. They also needed 4 passport sized photos of each of us.

I got off the phone and called Stephen immediately. I quickly checked out at Target with only half my purchases made and headed to his work. I picked him up and we headed to Walgreens to have passport photos taken. Then we went to our bank to sign another power of attorney document in front of a notary. We had asked our agency if the POA had to be certified as all other documents we've ever sent to Haiti needed to be certified and they told us no. We later found out the embassy would not have accepted the power of attorney document without it being certified. We went to FedEx and paid the fee to have our document delivered as fast as humanly possible. The fastest they could get it there was Tuesday the following week.

It was starting to feel as the day progressed that our dream of having the kids home for Thanksgiving was slipping through our fingers. Our flights had been purchased and to change them now would be a huge financial blow. I couldn't even think at this point. We had planned on having one more date night and neither one of us could even think straight. We sat in Panera pondering our options. Stephen felt the need to leave for Haiti as soon as possible. I could hardly bare the thought but deep down I knew he was right. I couldn't stop crying. This wasn't they way I imagined it was going to be.

The next morning we both woke up with a peace in our hearts that Stephen needed to leave for Haiti immediately. We called American Airlines and had his flight switched to the next day, Sunday, November 18th. He started packing like a madman and I tried to stay focused on the task at hand. We were able to book the flight that would allow him to get to Haiti Sunday night. We went to bed early and drove off to the airport early the next morning. It was a quick goodbye and he was off. I tried my best to ignore the huge hole in my heart. It's very hard for me to be apart from my other half, but I knew it must be this way. We would be reunited on Thursday in Haiti.

I had been invited to go to church by Ron & Lora that morning. I was so glad they did, because I needed to be with people. As I walked in their house at 6:30 that morning, I met Lora at the door and just lost it.  I'm so grateful for our friends. While we were in church I received a text that Stephen had made it to Chicago and was on the flight headed for Miami. They had to return to the gate because some lady needed medical attention so they had to let her off the plane. He was nervous about making his connection to Haiti. Ron & Lora's church congregation prayed for us. It was so comforting.

I headed home feeling like a zombie. When I got home I hopped on my computer and watched the flight tracker as I dozed off to sleep. He made it to Miami with enough time to spare to board his PAP flight. Praise the Lord. Stephen boarded his flight for PAP but then a very familiar experience happened. The plane experienced mechanical problems (something to do with a headlight) and he ended up being stuck on the plane for 2 hours without going anywhere. The flight ended up being cancelled.......

To be continued...

Adoption Update

No creative title. No carefully crafted words. I'm beyond exhausted. But this must be documented. For them. For us.

One year from now we look back at this time and wonder why we ever doubted. We will probably even question the stress we experienced while waiting. All the pain will have melted away. Our two beauties will be fully integrated. Comfortable with mom and dad.  Home.

But for now, I feel like Moses holding up the rod and the arms have gotten too tired so his friends are holding up his arms for him. Our friends are tired too. So is our family. I long to care for those who are struggling around me, but I am weak. Emotionally drained. Spent. My physical body has taken the brunt of the stress. I've been to several doctors in the last two months with strange symptoms. They can't diagnose a problem. It's just stress.

I know many of you are praying for us. I know there are people in my life I have neglected. I may have even been short with you. I am sorry. This process isn't natural. We have been separated from our children for too long and our hearts ache.  It's not an excuse, I know, but please forgive me if you have felt neglected by me.

The latest news starts with more frustration and ends with good news to report.  After our dossier was submitted to the USCIS earlier this month, we received an email from them shortly after that they had two issues with our paperwork. One issue was that two birth parent relinquishment documents were in our file and they needed our case worker to clarify which document they were to use. The issue was resolved by Pierre submitting an affidavit explaining the reason for the two documents. Problem solved.

The second issue was the embassy reported they had never received the payment for the second I-600 fee.  You may remember this whole mess from over a year ago, if not, here's the link.  Unfortunately, the only person who knows where our fee payment went, is dead.  So we had to come up with a way to get our fee paid again at the embassy. This isn't as easy as calling them up on the phone and giving them your credit card number. The embassy requires a representative on your behalf to walk in and pay the fee for you. Thankfully, an angel from God offered to do this for us and early last week she went in to pay the fee on our behalf.

The very next day we received I-600 approval. What does that mean? Here is the statement from our I-600 approval letter: "USCIS in Port au Prince, Haiti is pleased to inform you that the I-600 petitions, which you filed at this office on March 16, 2011 on behalf of Samson Pierre & Lydie Fignole, seeking to qualify them as your immediate relatives have 
been approved. Your case has been transferred to the Adoption Unit of the Consular Section for the visa process. This completes all action by USCIS on the referenced petitions. The Consular Section will soon contact you to follow-up on your case."

This news is HUGE people. We are just weeks away from traveling to get our kids and bring them home. The visa office will be issuing a visa appointment for our kids and we will be bringing them home a few days after that appointment. Based on other families that have brought their children home recently, it is possible we could be bringing them home around Thanksgiving time. We will know more very soon. 

Thank you for continuing to stand with us, friends. Thank you for holding up our arms when we have been too weak to do so. Today is orphan Sunday. The two we are bringing home seem like a drop in a very large bucket of great need in this world. We are nothing special. We are just doing what we've been asked to do, sometimes without the grace and patience that we should have had, but He is gracious and patient with us and I am thankful. 

The finish line coming into focus

We received word that on October 2nd our dossier was delivered to the USCIS in Haiti. When I read the news, a huge weight had been lifted, followed by a few moments of nervousness.

We have been waiting 2 years to bring Lydie and Samson home. During that time, the Lord has molded us, healed us, strengthened us. We have developed friendships that will last for eternity. We've learned about bonding issues, abandonment issues, and a little bit of creole. We've learned how to make Haitian rice and beans and we've learned all about car seats, toddler beds and cartoons.

Often times we have heard comments from other parents like, "oh you just wait" or "your life will never be the same." These statements aren't meant to be positive but poke at the fact that so far our lives have been pretty easy because we haven't been parents. I probably would agree with them.  I know parenting is the hardest job on the planet. I get that.

Most parents become parents the fun way. You know what I mean. We are becoming parents through agonizing silence and waiting, fears of cholera and hurricanes. We've endured background checks, psychiatric evaluations, mistakenly shredded documents and the death of our adoption processor.

I am not looking for sympathy. Everything we have endured these past 2 years will be rewarded with two of the most amazing kids I've ever laid my eyes on. They are worth all of this. So when I hear comments from some about how parenting sucks, it makes me sad. It makes me sad for their kids, because kids are not stupid and they listen to what their parents are saying.

We don't know for sure how long this last step will take. It could be one month or it could be two. But we know that God will give us the grace to finish what He has called us to do. Then the real fun begins....