The hard and the rest

I've had several people come up to me and say, "I don't know how you do it. You seem so strong, so full of faith about all this." Oh, dear friend, I have you fooled. The latest bit of potential bad news can put my emotions into a virtual tailspin.

The thing is, I am spent..worn out..drained. This process takes its toll. It just does. Ask any family adopting from Haiti, it's hard. It will stretch you in places you never could imagine. It will test your patience to a level you never thought possible. Sometimes I'm grateful for the hard. It's shaping me. It's making me stronger. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep for a really long time. Wake me up when it's over.

For a decade I have lead worship at my church. Tonight I called my pastor and told him I need a time of refreshing, a time to get replenished. I take my responsibilities very seriously. It was not an easy call to make, but I know I need this. I know Lydie & Samson need a momma who's got her tank full.  He was so gracious to me. We shed some tears, but he understood and I'm so grateful. He left me with this: "life isn't a joyride, but it has moments of joy." I know this difficult road will lead to a joyous end of our family reunited. Oh what joy that will be!

So we enter into rest. I admit, I've bawled the entire time I've written this post. Mostly because I'm just so grateful for the goodness of God... His tender mercies and endless love for me. On our way home from work tonight I put this song on. The words and thoughts from this song have carried me through so much during the past 3 years. He makes it all worthwhile. He is good. My mom always tells me when I get down in the dumps, "fix your eyes on Jesus, Naomi." I encourage you to find a quiet place and play this song. There's a special message for you at the end.